Thursday, July 22, 2010

Edward Cullen: Dreamy or Deathly?

Edward Cullen is viewed by many teenage girls as a wonderfully dreamy, nearly perfect man. To them, he is the perfect, supportive, lovely, soft boyfriend. This is a LIE! He is in no way dreamy or sensational. He is murderous, blood-thirsty (literally), withdrawn, and rather an antisocial. We would like to put the truth out there so you & the others around you are not believing this terrible untruth. So please take caution that you will not get caught up in this evil & very absurd vampire craze. We only speak the truth so when you make your desicion as to whether Edward is epic or evil, please be honest with yourself & remember these truths. Thank you.

An In Depth Profile of Bella Swan

Bella needs to make up her mind on whether or not she likes Edward, a bloodsucking albino, or Jacob, half man half wolf. Both seem like terrible choices to us personally. These certain choices when looking for a guy tells us that Bella has major emotional issues. She is also mental and disturbed! What girl in her right mind goes out and says, "I think the right kind of guy to date would be someone like an evil vampire or a werewolf."?? She is obviously crazy or insane to some degree. And another thing why would you not be freaked out and afraid of being bit and turning into a vampire when he admits to everything?!? His own family wants to have you for breakfast. That is a very bad sign. I say dump him, get rid of wolf man and find a nice guy who won't eat you! Seriously Bella, what is your deal??

A quick over view of Twilight!

TWILIGHT IS STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are extreme haters of Twilight and its creepy albino, bloodsucking characters. Edward would eat Bella! Now what sort of "dreamy" husband would be canibalistic and eat their wife?!?!!?!?!? So come on society, tell us how this just isn't wrong!!! And half wolf half man men aren't attractive in any way, even if they had a 70 pack! *his face looks squished* Also, he's inappropriate for being shirtless constantly. This is a severe breech of social ettiquite. Bella is a clingy, insecure, troubled teenage girl who has the audacity to date a vampire to find her self worth. Also, twilight encourages things our society should not be encouraging or uplifting. It does NOT enlighten you to what you are missing by practicing their actions, it just makes you end up in a bad spot. We will not go into detail of these unspeakable things. It promotes bad morals & evil things. Overall The Tw*l*ght Series is a horrifying & disgusting series. If you have any self respect you will not read these books especially after being enlightened by this blog. We do this only out of concern, care, & love for you.

Footnote: We will not be using the word Twilight any longer. We will now refer to it as a dirty offensive word. It will now be spelled Tw*l*ght.